Private Bet #11: A Twist and a Knot in the Tale
by Shade
Summary: Suppose that Ranma Saotome wasn't an only child. And suppose that the rest of the regular cast *also* had a few extra siblings. What could possibly go wrong...(*Insert Evil Manical Laughter Here*)


Private Bet #11: A Twist and a Knot in the Tale   
(a.k.a What The Heck Was The Author Thinking When He Came Up With This One???)  
By Shade  
  
Disclaimer: Way too many series from   
other people used in here. I suggest a strong   
drink before reading this. You'll need it.  
  
~~~~~~~  
Part 1: Your Sanity Or Your Life  
~~~~~~~  
  
From the now fixed dimensional   
portal a new figure stepped out.  
  
Death perched on his shoulder, a living jewel   
that watched the others there with cold unblinking   
eyes.  
  
The Bard and several of the non-immortals quickly  
got some distance between themselves and   
the newcomer. They might possess powers greater  
then most mortals but even they were vulnerable to  
certain nasties. An Alaspin Minidragon was one of them.   
  
Although more of a winged snake then a true Dragon  
the Minidragon possessed one feature that made its   
reputation even more well known and feared then even   
the mightiest Red or Chiang Ku.  
  
Like a certain type of terran cobra the Minidrag could   
spit a thin stream of corrosive toxin from its mouth, the   
venom sacs were so powerful in fact that it had an effective   
range of over twenty feet and enough accuracy to hit the   
pupils of a victim's eyes at fifteen.  
  
A person hit in the eyes by cobra venom would   
be temporarily blinded for a few minutes. Anything  
less then a Titan hit in the eyes by an Alaspin Minidragon   
venom would be dead in about sixty seconds.   
  
The winged serpent's venom contained over two   
thousand identified neurotoxins as well as possessing   
a corrosive agent capable of eating through starcruiser armor  
like it was jello. There was no antidote for it, once it   
entered your bloodstream you were good as dead. If the   
venom hit anyplace else besides the eyes a victim might   
live for as long as five minutes before the poison finally   
killed them. It wasn't a pretty sight, and even worse,   
the snakes were excellent shots.  
  
"Hi Flinx. I see you brought Pip."  
  
"Nice to see you too, Shadow. Am I late?"  
  
"Nah, you're just in time to make your bet."  
  
"Great."  
  
There was a long moment of silence.  
  
"YOU know this guy???" The Guardian demanded,   
this was news to him.  
  
"I do a little D-hopping from time to time. Ran into   
him at a cozy little planet called Moth. Figured what   
the heck, why not invite him."  
  
"You...are nuts."  
  
As the two fell into an age old argument the mysterious   
Flinx studied the pool. Then a grin, a rock and a toss later   
and the next Private Bet entry was started.  
  
Rowan took one look at the change made and sighed.  
  
"You have GOT to be kidding me."  
  
Flinx shrugged sheepishly.  
  
"What can I say, I always wanted a big family   
back when I was a kid. Besides, being an only  
child is part of the reason *why* he's got so  
many problems in the first place."  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
-_-'  
  
The miracle of life is a wonderful thing.   
Of course too much of a good thing is almost   
as bad as not having it at all.  
  
Let it just be recorded that certain couples  
in Asia experienced a brief period of extreme   
fertility...  
  
It should also be noted that the men in those   
relationships required several trips to the hospital   
in order to be treated for *severe* exhaustion.  
  
~~~~~~  
-Nermia, Japan: 17 years later (give or take a few months)  
  
"COME BACK AND DIE OLD MAN!!!"  
  
As a light autumn storm showered the neighborhood a handsome   
young man with a ponytail who also happend to bear a striking   
resemblence to a pretty girl chased after his archnemesis,   
the bane of his existence, his father.  
  
Said person was currently an Abominable Snowman.   
But if the gleaming blade of the fancy lightsaber being   
wielded by the youth was any indication if that young   
man caught him he'd be an ex-Sasquatch.  
  
As the bystanders blinked and their brains struggled to   
process this impossible visual data three more figures   
came running down the street.  
  
"Big brother! Wait up!"  
  
"Ranma!! Wait for Nuku-Nuku!!"  
  
"Meow! Meow! Meow!!" Slow down!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
-It is Fate!  
  
A very haggard Soun Tendo greeted the day's mail.  
  
A giant smile with a hint of relief lit his face   
as soon as he finished reading the postcard.  
  
At last, they had come. Soon he'd finally be   
free from the burden that weighed so heavily upon him.  
  
Now all he had to do was call all of his daughters.  
  
Soun grimaced. This could take awhile.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
The kitchen was his first stop.  
  
"Tsunami! Kasumi!! Belldandy!! Mutsumi!!"  
  
"Yes Father?" Four heads looked   
back from where the girls were   
cooking.  
  
It was almost eerie how alike his eldest   
daughters' responses were.  
  
He still wondered about the   
aqua-blue hair color sometimes.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Nanami! Nabiki!! Mitsune!!!"  
  
"Here."   
  
A hand stuck up from the couch.   
Mitsune was watching the horse races again.  
  
"Mmm?" Nabiki bit down into her cracker  
as she looked up from browsing a fashion   
magazine.  
  
"I'm busy selling lunches, dad!" A voice   
shouted from outside.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"Akane! Motoko! Lina!"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Where are those girls anyway???"  
  
"Did you try the Dojo daddy?" Nabiki asked   
in passing as she walked into the living room.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"Kyyaa!!"  
  
*BOOM*  
  
"I hate BOYS!!!"  
  
*SMASH*POUND*DESTROY*  
  
"FIREBALL!!!"  
  
*Major Owwie Time*  
  
The battlecries of Soun's youngest daughters  
shook the old wooden walls of the Tendo Dojo   
as they proceeded to demolish enough construction   
materials to build a goodsized skyscraper.  
  
Akane gave satisfied sigh as she vented her built   
up frustration. She always felt better after breaking   
something.  
  
Standing next to her was a ponytailed girl with   
a better then average bust and a red haired girl   
with a modest chest. All three were wearing well   
used gis as they practiced their various combat styles.  
  
But the redhead had wisps of smoke   
curling up from her slightly sizzled hair.  
The rest of her wasn't in much better condition.  
  
"How many times have we told you Lina?! No magic in the Dojo!!"  
  
~~~~~~  
  
It was a rare peaceful moment in Nermia.  
  
"FIANCEE??!!"  
  
The Tendo house jumped a foot off the ground  
from the sheer power of the girls' outcry.  
  
It was a very short lived peaceful moment.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"Get back here! I'm going to thank you for   
dragging me and Mayuka off to China!! Then   
I'm going show my appreciation for engaging   
us to a bunch of people WE HAVE NEVER   
EVEN MET BEFORE!!!"  
  
The giant white ball of fur skidded to  
a halt and turned around with an angry  
gleam in its red eyes.  
  
"Feh, your move old man."  
  
Ranma dropped into a guard position.  
The main drawback of his cursed form  
was that it was worse then useless for  
the Anything Goes Martial Arts style.  
It was too weak, too slow, and the   
balance was all wrong. But Saotome had   
soon discovered that it wasn't totally   
defenseless. He seemed to instinctively   
know how to use this strange light sword   
that kept popping up in his hands.  
  
It was good enough to beat most normal opponents.  
  
But Genma's cursed form was about as   
abnormal as they come. Especially when  
its main special attack was a enormous beam   
of pure cold that froze everything in   
its path.  
  
Ranma's eyes widened in horror.  
  
"Me and my big mouth..."  
  
*FWOOOSH*  
  
Instant Ranma-sicle.   
  
Satisified that he had incompacitated his son   
for the moment Abominable Genma grabbed the   
block of ice with his son in it and made his   
way toward the Tendo Dojo.  
  
A few minutes later Mayuka Saotome picked   
up her brother's empty sword hilt and followed.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"Father, you didn't?!"  
  
"Is he cute?"  
  
"Oh my!"  
  
"Ara ara..."  
  
"Is he rich?"  
  
"Is he at least intelligent enough to   
carry on a decent conversation with?"  
  
"Is he cute?"  
  
"Is he rich?"  
  
"Who cares about guys anyway?"  
  
"Never! Men are weaklings!!"  
  
"When's dinner?"  
  
"Is he cute?"  
  
The room exploded into disordered chatter   
as the gathered Tendo daughters bombarded  
their poor father with questions.   
  
"Well Father? Exactly what kind of guy is this Ranma?"  
  
The majority of the girls asked, with the exception of   
Akane who wasn't interested, Motoko who disliked all males  
on principle and Lina who was still hungry.  
  
"I haven't the slightest clue actually."  
  
The sensible daughters facefaulted. The daughters possessing  
an inpenetrable aura of niceness just sighed and sweatdropped   
as their beloved but sorely lacking in wits parental unit   
demonstrated yet again that all of their good traits must   
have been inherited from their mother's side of the family.   
  
The rest hadn't been paying attention as a   
new ominous noise caught their attention.  
  
Lina and Akane smiled grimly and cracked   
their knuckles in eerie unison. Finally,   
something to do besides just waiting   
around for a stupid fiancee!  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"Wai! Ranma-kun looks so silly!!"  
  
*Poke*Poke*  
  
Nuku Nuku giggled as she  
tapped a finger against the ice  
covering Ranma's face.  
  
This was fun!  
  
She decided to draw some   
whiskers and pointy ears on the  
block of ice to make him look  
more like a cat. He was her pet   
after all, even if she looked   
like a silly human-person   
right now.  
  
She hoped that the house ahead   
had some hot water. Walking on  
two legs got tiring after awhile,  
although there were *other* benefits  
to having a human form now.  
  
Now if they could only do something   
about that smelly fat Genma-furball...  
  
~~~~~~~~  
-Is that subtle hint?  
  
Destiny took one look at Nermia   
and started running for the hills.  
  
  
(To be continued?)  
  
*$*$*$*$*$*  
  
-Author's Notes  
  
So far:  
  
-Tendos  
  
Tsunami (TM), Kasumi, Belldandy (OMG), Mutsumi (LH): The nice ones.  
  
Nanami (EH), Nabiki, Mitsune (LH: The smart ones.   
  
Akane, Motoko (LH), Lina (Slayers): The dangerous ones.  
  
-Saotomes & Co.  
  
Genma Saotome: cursed form; Sasquatch (DS)  
  
-Ranma Saotome: cursed form; Tenkotochi  
(Fell into the Spring of Drowned Main Characters   
Who Are Doomed To Always Have Too Many   
Women After Them: Keiitchi, Makoto, Akito, Tenchi...)  
  
-Mayuka Saotome(TM:MNE): cursed form: Strange Young Woman   
who can walk through walls, blow things up, and even fly.   
(Spring of Drowned Ryoko)  
  
Felicia (DS); Darkstalker who pretends to be a normal cat  
with a Jusenkyo curse; Mayuka's pet.  
  
Nuku Nuku; cursed form: Teenage Girl with Unbelievable   
Superhuman Abilities (Spring of Drowned A-ko); Ranma's pet.  
  
Ranma's Older Sisters: ???  
  
-Assorted Amazon sisters of Shampoo (who *also* lost to Ranma)  
Shayla Shayla (EH)   
Mihoshi: cursed form; Kiyone (A whole new twist to the MihoKiyo duo!)   
Rei (NGE) as Vanilla  
Hotaru (SM)   
  
-Everybody Else  
  
Jinnai Kuno (EH), Shutaro Kuno (UY), Tatewaki Kuno (Triplets)  
  
Naga Kuno(Slayers), Ayeka Kuno (TM), Kodachi Kuno (Triplets yet again)  
  
(The Universe shudders.)   
  
Proving once again that you don't have to be crazy to write fanfiction...  
  
But it helps. -_^  
  
-Shade 


End file.
